I turn 30 tomorrow.
It doesn’t feel like such a milestone. Not the important event I would have expected it to be, anyway. While I realise 30 is a big one, I guess I just don’t FEEL 30.
I remember being 20 and looking up to the guys 10+ years older and thinking they had it all together: career, accomplishments, success…they epitomised all that I hoped to become. So here I am on the brink of that and, well…I still feel 20. I still feel like I did a few years out of High School – expectant, eager for life to start, looking forward to the challenges and decisions. It’s like the last ten years have been a dream and soon I’ll soon wake up, the Goo Goo Dolls will be topping the charts and The Matrix will be showing in theatres.
but before they screwed it up with Matrix Reloaded!
My old heroes and mentors, those guys I looked up to, did they feel like this? They certainly didn’t appear to.
Is this normal? Do you ever reach a point in life where you feel like you have it all together?
The funny this is, over the last 10 years, I have actually done a ton of cool stuff. I’ve climbed mountains in Colorado and heli-boarded the New Zealand Alps. I’ve been surrounded by angry villagers armed with machetes & rocks in the highlands of PNG and I’ve seen absolutely breathtaking scenery in San Luis Potosi, Mexico. I have eaten snakes, pig brains (and also heart and ears), chicken feet and hard-boiled duck foetus. I have lived in different countries and met life-changing people who probably, to this day, still do not realise the impact they have made on me and how much I owe them (Mike C, Ted H, Aaron L…I love you guys!).
I also married my best friend just eight years ago and I have a wonderful family with four incredible kids. Everything I do, I do for them and I couldn’t do anything without them!
...and I played a mean game of Watergun Wars!
Maybe it’s because I haven’t done what I EXPECTED to do. Maybe, somewhere in my subconscious, I am still waiting for my life as a pilot, rockstar, jedi, etc to begin even though I stopped pursuing those dreams decades ago. Maybe I’m just finding it hard to give up on an era of my life that was filled with max excitement, low responsibility.
Yeah, I know, I know…I need to grow up, take responsibility and yadiyadiya. But that’s the thing…I’m a Toys R Us kid.
and for the record, I'll never stop chasing this dream!
Brad Crabtree 