Monthly Archives: January 2012

Who Is In Control?

A running theme in our household is, “Who is in control?” We often ask our kids this question and rarely need to remind them of the answer… which might not be what you think.

As a parent, and being the biggest and strongest, it’s easy to get this wrong and ‘assume’ control (or, more accurately, “usurp control”) over the little ones in your house. But being the biggest and the strongest doesn’t equal control and nor should it. Raising kids this way only teaches dependence instead of self-respect.

No, the answer to the question, “who is in control?” is ME. As in, you. Or my kids. Or anyone else who might be reading this. YOU are in control and only you can be in control of you. Anything else is dysfunctional.

This is where I’ve seen a lot of parents (and managers, for that matter) come unstuck. Authority should never be confused with control and only in the most dysfunctional of situations should authority override an individual’s ability to control themselves.

So where does that leave us parents?

Well, with this in mind, over the next couple of weeks, I am starting a series on the theme “Who is in control?” I’m not going to assume I know everything there is to know about parenting, nor will I suggest that everyone should do it our way. I will only discuss some principles and techniques that work (or don’t work) in our house. Feel free to use, copy or simply disregard. Ask questions, offer your own advice or request a post on a specific topic.

Overall, I hope you find it thought-provoking.